Member Shares

Thank you to the HAL members willing to share their Experience, Strength and Hope.

For information on how to submit an essay, email the HAL Publications Committee at: .

Guidelines can be found HERE.

Note: These essays and shares are solely the opinion of the author. Take what you need and leave the rest. They are NOT World Service Conference approved. They are for the personal use of our members only.

“After many years in the Nar-Anon program, when a loved one died, I hesitated to share during Nar-Anon meetings.  I believed I could not share my grief with newcomers and others who could not face hearing that some addicts do die.  In Hope After Loss, I can freely share, knowing members can hold the reality of my loss. This helps me focus on living, one day at a time.” Wendy A.

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Living in the Present

My son Jack (age 35) died of an intentional heroin overdose 7 months ago.  What is getting me through this is learning about grief.  Resilient grieving is the idea that if we focus on it, we can actually learn from our grief and loss.  The older we get (and I am 68) the more people we will lose in our lives.  It is inevitable.  Although the death of a child is a horrific experience, I am trying to grow through the process.  I want to become a more thoughtful, reflective, and accepting person.

Losing a child does upset the natural order of things. However, instead of saying “why me?,”  I am trying to focus on “Why not me?”  This attitude has pushed me to focus on the things I have learned since my son died.  These are some of them:  I am certainly more compassionate in all things related to mental illness, drug addiction, and suicide.  I focus on being grateful for what I do have.

I have also learned some things about myself through attending Hope After Loss meetings, journaling, and talking to friends.  I have made progress living in the moment, not in the past or the future.  In addition to trying to be resilient in the grieving process, I am also trying to grieve mindfully.  This pushes me to try to minimize my thoughts around all of the secondary losses, like my hopes and dreams for my son, and commit to living in the present.

Maribeth W.

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